


I'm Here

by storiesofchaos



Series: Avengers: Infinity War [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angsty Thor, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Brother Feels, Brotherly Love, Character Study, Gen, I Made Myself Cry, I just really wanted to see them do the hug, Spoilers, and I needed closure, this is just really sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 08:05:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14564622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesofchaos/pseuds/storiesofchaos
Summary: "If you were here I might even give you a hug."





	I'm Here

**Author's Note:**

> I was too broken-hearted during this scene to gather in all the details, so please tell me if I got anything majorly wrong! 
> 
> Also, I'm sorry

Thor’s whole world was in chaos.

His body ached and his heart even more; filled with rage, sorrow, desperation, too many thoughts and feelings so that he did not know what to feel. And all because of him—

_Thanos._

That bastard had come when he thought it couldn’t get any worse, when Asgard, his _home_ , had just been destroyed. Thor knew that they were lucky to even save their people at all, that he should be grateful, yet that didn't stop the pain in his heart. He thought he had known death and destruction, despair and loss. But now though, now he felt it all tenfold.

Because how could it get any worse, any more real, when he had his head on Loki’s dying chest, a thin heartbeat still trying to keep the body of his brother alive? He had automatically clutched onto him when Loki was dropped to the ground like he was _nothing_ , willing him to get up and say something to Thor, even if it were to insult him. But now he lay there, broken and purple-faced, tears in his eyes and with rattly breath. Loki was struggling to get air in, but it was sort of hard when you had just had your _throat crushed._

“No, it’s okay brother, you will be fine, it’s okay, just –” But Thor realized Loki couldn't hear him anymore. Thor couldn’t do anything, couldn’t stop staring at what had just been a brave, foolish, breathing being now on the floor struggling for survival.

His brother’s heartbeat dropped even more, trying to fight its way through but not succeeding as Thor willed it to keep going, to thrive, as if hoping would do any good. But there was no hope left, not now, not ever. Not after this.

Slowly, slowly...and then the heart stopped.

And what more could Thor lose?

There was nothing for him to feel now, nothing for him to do but scream. _Too many_ had already been taken from him, _too many_ had been stripped from his life. Not now, not when the world was crumbling, Loki couldn’t just leave like that! He wouldn’t go this easily, he _couldn’t_  —

So many times he may have wished ill on his brother, yet now when Thor needed him most he was gone. How cruel Fate could be. His mind grew numb and he could feel the tiredness and desperation catch up with him, willing him to sleep as to put off the loss of hope until later, falling into unconsciousness where he still lay over Loki’s body.

He instantly knew he was in a dream. He remembered this moment so well, yet there was a hazy, golden glow around the edges of his sight. He was on the ship full of Asgardian refugees still, yet this was before Thanos had come, and it hadn't been very long ago - but it seemed as if an age had passed. He recalled that sense of melancholy and hollowness, yet he had been strangely light, feeling at peace for at least a minute. Little did past-Thor know what was to come.

He went through the same actions as he had in the real world, inspecting his new eye patch in the mirror and running a hand over the thing that reminded him so much of his father. Then there was a movement in the glass, Thor immediately knowing it was his brother.

“It suits you,” Loki said, meaning the eyepatch as Thor turned around.

Thor didn’t reply to that, instead saying, “Maybe you’re not so bad after all, brother.” Loki smiled a bit at that.

“Maybe not.”

“Thank you. If you were here I might even give you a hug,” Thor said sincerely, yet knowing it wouldn’t happen. His brother wasn’t really there, it was too often that he was fooled.

That was what he believed until Loki caught the silver cap he threw and Thor smiled in disbelief.

“I’m here.”

And then he saw it, _felt_ it as it truly should have happened, if he had only let himself do it.

Thor strided over to Loki in just a few paces and hugged him without warning. He had obviously not been expecting him to actually do it, if his stiff composure was anything to go by. But little by little, as he got squeezed ferociously by Thor, Loki melted into it. He needed it as much as his brother and could only go through so much without breaking down, even if the respite was only for a moment.

They both had needed this more than they knew.

And when the universe seemed to have stopped, they were just two brothers, clinging onto a broken world with only a small shred of hope to keep themselves going.

Thor began to feel truly exhausted. As he leaned his head on Loki’s shoulder, he knew Loki must be feeling that way too, even if he never tried to show it. When his brother drew in a ragged breath he knew his assumption to be true.

Finally Loki pulled back from Thor’s tight grip on his shoulders, inconspicuously wiping his eyes and clearing his throat.

“Well, we had better stop before you get tears on me,” Loki said, while Thor couldn’t help but grin widely, knowing his brother just wanted to get attention away from the fact that _he_ was the one about to cry.

Suddenly this dream-world flipped, taking him to a place completely different from the ship. He had been here once before, when he had seen his father for the last time and his sister for the first, except now it was dark and there was a heavy rainfall. His brother stood on edge of the cliff, looking out on the raging waves with his hair whipping in the wind and dressed how Thor saw him last. Thor forced himself to walk closer and stand beside him.

He risked a look at Loki’s face and tried to figure out if those were tears or just the rain rolling down his face. Yet he looked calm, serene even, for the end of the world.

“Couldn’t do for a change of scenery, brother?” Thor joked as an introduction, feeling like that was the only thing to do now, to convince himself that _everything was fine_.

“Oh you know, this place has history. Consider it a family reunion.”

“I’m not sure the departure of our father and Hela destroying Mjölnir makes this place the best for a family reunion.” Loki just shook his head and suddenly looked very sad, and they were quiet for a moment.

“You chose a side,” Thor said at last. Loki continued looking ahead at the ocean before replying.

“I suppose so.”

“That was such a stupid thing you did, trying to stab Thanos. You knew it wouldn’t work.” Loki just smiled mischievously at that, and Thor didn’t get a chance to ponder over it before his brother said something in return.

“Don’t tell anyone I mentioned this, but hope is the best thing you’ve got now. Remember that, brother.” He turned to look at Thor and smiled, truly smiled. Without waiting for an answer he turned back to face the sea and nodded in finality. “Remember, brother.”

“Loki, I — ” but he was gone in a whisp.

As something else came into focus, he realized he was holding a tiny hand in his own, which was a young boy's too. This was a memory he had forgotten, but it all came flooding back now - this was when his mother had explained the concept of a sibling to him, when he was a young boy and becoming curious. He saw himself holding hands with Loki and Loki holding hands with him and remembered thinking, _brother_.

Then, it faded to black and there was a loud ringing in his ears. Head pounding, heart thudding, and more confused than contented, Thor sat up with a loud gasp into the real, gritty world. He fumbled into standing and wobbled away from whoever was standing near him, trying to get a grasp on what was reality and what was not.

Finally he turned around, and voice raspy, said, “Who the hell are you guys?”


End file.
